Fab 2 Flab: Step 8Step 8: More Blood Work
Now we get into the hardcore stuff. I'm talkin' red meat, sugar drinks and caffeine. "But wait!" You say, "Didn't I already add in my coffee?"
Oh sure. One lousy cup? Try adding two, to three cups throughout your day. Also, you can start supplementing your cravings for water or veggie juice with a product called "Coke".
You can find cans of "Coke" in a variety of flavors (sorry, they all taste kind of nasty, but you'll get used to it.) at nearly any grocery store.
The "Coke" product, and other colas of this nature are refined drinks, with a huge amount of sugar, caffeine, and toxic chemicals designed to help you retain fat.
If you can, get the "non-fat" ones filled with aspartame.
Contrary to popular belief, those will actually accelerate the weight gain more than the regular ones. (they're tricky with that marketing, let me tell you!) The reason is, aspartame is a form of MSG.
MSG augments your actual genetic code so that you are less able to process fat and, (here's the kicker) your body will crave fat and sugar more!!!
Yes, you heard me right! This is how all those obese people have been doing it all these years. They've been sneakily labeling so many products "non-fat" that are filled with MSG derivatives! That's how they make it look so easy!
Once you start ingesting MSG, it'll have all kinds of great side-effects, including genetic manipulation of your ovaries! (good news: Your kids will be pre-disposed to all kinds of great things like diabetes and lower brain function! And, of course, much more likely to be obese!)
You may have guessed this already, but, yes, your next step is adding MSG to as much of your food as possible.
You can actually buy this stuff as a condiment in some states, though, it is illegal in some others due to rats producing too many tumors, so shop around! You may be able to get it online, or have a friend pick it up for you when they go somewhere less strict!
Feelin' flabby yet? I hope so!
You should be starting to notice some distinct love handles at this point, or, at the very least, be needing some new jeans!
This is a facetious article
Sensei Ono, Shinka Martial Arts
How could you best encourage a blogger to blog?
About The
- Author
- Sensei Ono, founder of Shinka Martial Arts, is a teacher and student of life. His passion for helping others and self improvement is the purpose behind this blog. -- "If your purpose in any way includes making the world a better place, I urge to you read, and share the knowledge."
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