Pleasing Everybody

As the old saying goes - when you attempt to please everyone, you end up pleasing juuuust abooout no-one.

And, a similar lesson with a different slant, if you see a beautiful masterpiece with a fingerprint on it, what's more important?  The beauty and skill... or the imperfection?

What do we focus on in life?  The majority of positive feedback, or the minority of negative?

My goodness, is it difficult to focus on the majority of positive, isn't it?

I mean, we've got everyone under the sun telling us we're awesome... and then bam.  One person says you suck and nobody likes you -- and there you go, back to that dark, insecure place inside yourself who never really believed you were all that great to begin with.

Teaching in a martial arts school has been a beautiful microcosm for seeing how people deal with the world.

Do we take a tiny piece of negative and blow it out of proportion?  Or, do we instead take the lesson, and do our best to learn from it?  How long do we stay on the angry/negative slant before snapping ourselves out of it?

I had a student provide some feedback today, that said my classes felt "too planned."  And, immediately, I began questioning myself.  "Are all the students unhappy?  Do people hate the classes?" a million questions go through my head in an instant.  I take a deep breath, and let myself calm down.  (I'm getting better at this sort of thing, but I still have a path or two to walk)

Take it as a lesson, and evaluate it.

My mind flashes back to the past weeks which have been filled with praise at the amount of time and effort I put into designing my classes - how I must spend hours thinking about what the students need/want and the best, most fun ways to provide it to them.  (I do, actually.  I love it)

I think about the smiles everyone wears at the end of class and then return to the feedback and look at it in a much calmer way.

Okay... so, why would the student say that?  What would the down side be of a well planned class?

I ponder that for a bit, and come up with a few weak answers, and then...  Perhaps they feel that they aren't getting enough personal attention?  That the classes are some form of cookie cutter and not custom fit to the students within the proverbial dough?

Plausible.  Familiarity is one of the quickest things to staunch our perceptions of outstanding events and people.  Its entirely possible that the student simply takes for granted some form of the classes, and their presentation.  Grass is greener, and all that.

I think back farther, and come up with a few contradictory memories about when the same student once praised me for that which they were now scorning.  I probe deeper and do my best to stay positive and inquisitive.

How could I improve as a result of this feedback?  Be less predictable?  More variety of class-type?  More student input?  More insight into how the classes are tailor fit to the students?

Hm...  how to "show your work" in regards to that?  Do they KNOW that the past classes they felt were too basic were, in fact, targeted towards them in an effort to help them progress?  Likely not.  Likely they believe they're ready to advance to a new belt altogether.  How best to impart that lesson?

Better still, how best to prevent this situation from happening again, both with them, and others?  Is there a way to maybe... I don't know...  let a student know before class that this one in particular is meant for them, or, a the very least, for what they need to be working on?

I begin brainstorming and search for answers.

Problems suck, but finding solutions is fun.  Its all in the focus.

(Like I said, I'm getting better at this stuff - it takes practice.)

One thing I will say is:
Creativity is best harnessed for solutions.  If you sick it on the negative, my goodness will you get angry and defensive quickly.

Nip it in the bud, focus on the lesson and the solution.

___
I intended Shinka to be an amazing place for my student's evolution.  Who knew that it held so many lessons for its teacher, as well?

Sensei Ono, Shinka Martial Arts